And the blue ribbon goes to ...

Me!

The blue ribbon is an award to the best speaker for prepared speeches during a Toastmasters meeting, and it looks like this. 

It was a much needed boost in morale after a 11-month Toastmaster journey, and it would not have been possible had I done my speech in my 'home' club.  Thanks to the magnanimity of the club that hosted me, I received the most encouraging evaluation (from one of the best evaluator in Singapore!) and feedback from fellow toastmasters and guests, and the privilege of speaking in front of an open-minded audience.  In fact the decision and motivation to start this blog has a lot to with this evening.

Following is my speech for my Competent Communicator Project 9 (Persuade With Power):

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PROTECT YOURSELF FROM PERSUASION (7min 17sec)

How many of you have been cheated before? 

[* only 2 hands, when I had expected the whole room!!! The lukewarm response has caused me to panic, and I tried to recover ...*]

What a smart audience!  [* Is there a less 'patronizing' and 'puky' way to recover? *] 

But are you sure only 2 of you have been cheated of your money, your time and your trust in your life time?  [* Try as I might to show speech relevance, it's still the same 2 hands.  Wait a minute, 2 out of 11 is only about 18% ... oh YK you've got a long speech, just move on*]

How many of you want to be cheated again? [* Zero. Sure, if 9 out of 11 don’t think they have been cheated, this question no longer applies.  This question was meant to filter out the hostile audience who might want to stump me.  What’s worse: hostile audience or indifferent audience? *]

The diehard optimists among us may believe that everything comes with a silver lining in the lessons learnt.

But life is too short to learn all lessons on our own, and by the time we see light at the end of the tunnel, we might have reached the end of the tunnel.

Mr Toastmaster, ladies and gentlemen.  Persuasion is not just about a toastmaster doing her project 9. [* it’s supposed to be funny, but audience didn’t think so *]

People study and make a living out of it.  Every day we are subjected to persuasion: advertisements, propaganda, scams, frauds.  To begin protecting ourselves from the invasion of persuasion, we have to recognize how vulnerable we are to persuasion - How we are hardwired, brought up and born with these weaknesses.

Ladies, have you ever been teased by your male partners and friends about ‘that time of the month’ whenever you get too 'emotional’?  Guess what gentlemen, you too have ‘that time of the month’ -  because we are all born with hormones!  [* establishing this as a fact from an endocrinology standpoint actually took up the bulk of my research ... rest of the info I have at my fingertips *]
Hormones swing our moods, evoke our emotions: our cravings and greed, fear and love, and lust and libidos.

Come on, how many men can resist the temptation of free food, free lodging, and free sex from 2 gorgeous Swedish girls?  Not even the shrewdest and most careful founder of Wikileaks Julian Assange, who’s now in prison having fallen into the honey traps.  Nina Wang and her fengshui master lover, Paul McCartney and Heather Mills - they all go to show that all the wealth, fame, power & influence in the world will not spare you from moments of weaknesses.

If you go home and look around your house, chances are you will find things you don't need!  People rush to grab the ’good deals’ whenever there is ‘Buy 1 get 1 free’ and ‘call within the next 10min’? All impulse of greed combined with The Scarcity Principle.

Second weakness lies in the way we are brought up to fear, trust and respect authority.  How many of you have watched the Leonardo DiCaprio movie ‘Catch Me If You Can?’  [* COOL, almost everyone! *]

Based on real life conman Frank Abagnale Jr, who managed to get away by dressing up as doctor, pilot, lecturer, attorney and security officer.  Notice something in common?  These are all figures of authority that people don’t normally question.

Adolf Hitler - How many was killed by his own hands? Just 1 – himself.  How many were killed as a result of his propaganda machine?  Estimated 5 to 14 million.  Is it just because Germans fear authority the most?  What about genocides across history: Nan King Massacre, Rwanda, Khmer Rouge?

Decades of psychology research such as the Stanford Prison Experiment has shown our 3^rd weakness – we are hardwired with Herd Behavior.  We need to belong, we need to conform.  Over 60% will faithfully follow without questioning, the other 30 over % might question but will soon succumb to peer pressure.

All it took was for the first few German officers to start off the killing, and waves and waves of German soldiers would just follow - amounting to the holocaust.  The same goes for Nan King Massacre, Rwanda, Khmer Rouge and all other genocides.

Knowing how vulnerable we are, there are 3 ways to protect ourselves.   [* it's getting kind of odd that I have yet to see the green light from the timer for the 5 minute mark - having already wasted time in the beginning repeating my question.  Something warned me to accelerate to keep within time limits - so I condensed my points and just 'force-fed' them to the audience as anaphora’s of triads *]

We can 1^st empower ourselves with knowledge.  Know your needs and your impulses.  Know your rationale and your rights.  Know that you can always say ‘no’.  Even if you find it uncomfortable to say no, try saying ‘Let me sleep on it’.  That will buy you time for the emotions to calm down.  Please repeat after me - ‘Let me sleep on it’.   [* YOOHOO, the audience actually repeated! even if it was just to humor me! and even if someone pointed out that this is sheer 'persuasion'! *]

Second, since we cannot know everything, always ask questions.  Question the fine prints, question the assumptions,  question even the authority.  [* and that's when I got the red light for 7 min - PHEW - just enough time to wrap up* ]

Finally, listen to your inner voice.  When things look too good to be true, when things smell fishy, when a doubt fleets across your mind, that’s your inner voice warning you. 

To be forewarned is to be forearmed.  What’s your inner voice telling you now?  

Mr Toastmaster ...

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YK’s 2-Cents: 

On the 'vote winning' factors:

1) It was based on my life time of observations, of lessons learnt, and I earnestly want to share them, to give back to the club that has offered me refuge and redemption.  I supposed enough members of the audience had finally felt my concern for them. 

2) As it was a logos-driven speech, it was to my advantage to have an audience of good listeners that paid more attention to the logos, and less attention to my low ethos (overlooking the weak initial response) and pathos (weak delivery).   My message and my intention has a chance to hit home.  

Had I done it in my home club where the audience is predominantly members who depend on persuasion for a living, my intention to warn audience from being 'the next sucker' will get in the way of their business development.   It will turn into a challenge of facing a hostile audience (I can still remember the diabolical sneers on some faces during earlier projects (and some sneers are perpetual).   The voting over there is also solely based on ethos, and they will see to it the blue ribbon always go to somebody deemed likeable to them.

3) Research and selection of examples and illustrations which were familiar to the audience

Areas for improvement:

1) To expect the unexpected whenever I plan to do Q&A or pass control to the floor - I was too taken-a-back by the unexpected initial response and panicked.

2) Even though I know the facts at my fingertips, I should have rehearsed more than 4 times.  It was enough preparation to give me a feel of the timing to mitigate the sudden 'red light'.   Still I didn't have enough 'cool' to use vocal variety after the impromptu self-editing.

3) Pathos pathos pathos!  LOTS of room for improvement in terms of delivery.  It was not a big room with only a 11-member audience, and yet the evaluator had problem hearing me.  Voice projection definitely needs more work.


I am thankful to Mr Ng (rhetoric@singnet.com.sg), my evaluator.  This speech is dedicated to him.

Despicable Me

YK’s 2-Cents: 

It's so cute, I'm gonna die! (in the tone of Agnes, the cutest little orphan girl).

It begins with how a despicably mean guy Gru (voiced by the always hilarious Steve Carell in a inimitable accent) - assisted by Dr. Nefario and an army of minions (adorable little yellow upright capsule looking creatures that speak their own language 'minionese') - is always up to no good.
That's until he gets to know 3 orphaned girls Margo, Edith, and Agnes - who help him to make up for a deprived childhood and fill his heart with their innocence and 'oh-so-cute'-ness.
As expected, there is no lack of 'aww' moments the minute the 3 girls appear.  The bedtime story is sure to bring out the fatherly and motherly instincts in us, just like what happened to Gru ... awww 

The kids among the audience were giggling a lot, so much so, that I can't even tell if the laughter was from the movie or the audience.  Definitely a must-watch for kids.

Some adults might find it a tad too kiddish.  But hey, if  you watch out for them, you do find some hilarious moments meant for adults too, like the most appropriate 'Lehman Brothers' joke .   And it helps if you know some Spanish, like, what is "como un burro"?


This is the perfect animation feature that makes you wanna cuddle the fluffiest soft toy you can get hold of, as you drift away into the sweet, sweet, dreamland at the end of the movie.

SWEET!

Emilie Saint-Pé - Comme chien et chat (Like dog and cat)

While picking up a ticket to the free screening of 'La Grande Séduction' sponsored by the Embassy of Canada, it was just my luck that there was this on-going exhibition by Emilie Saint-Pé, a French born now Hong Kong based graphic designer.  
She intuitively exploits the graphic blocks of Chinese characters literally to translate French expressions.  Below is one of my favorites (contains link to Emilie Saint-Pé's website):

... Comme un poisson dans l'eau

Literal translation: like a fish in water

Meaning: to be in one's element

In this way, she bridges 2 cultures as far apart as cats and dogs.  See the connection?


YK’s 2-Cents:
This exhibition was particularly interesting to me because I am currently trying to self-study French, and it presents an interesting way for me to learn a few French idioms.
But it also makes me question, as an ethnic Chinese and French language student, are these 2 cultures really poles apart?


Take for example my favorite expression "... Comme un poisson dans l'eau".  In Chinese there is also the saying '如鱼得水', which has the exact same meaning. 


Also in food culture, '"Frogs' legs" are delicacies of both French and Cantonese cuisine.  While travelling in Paris, I was pleasantly surprised at how common it is to find '姜葱田鸡' (Frogs' legs stir-fried in ginger and spring onion) on the menus of Chinese restaurants, while most typical Chinese restaurants in other countries offer only the usual 'Sweet and Sour' stuff.


Won't it be better if the French and Chinese were able to focus more on their similarities rather than their differences; just like how their ancestors have both similarly observed and appreciated life in its elements, and be equally passionate about cuisine?

Dancer In The Dark

YK’s 2-Cents: 

This movie is Lars von Trier's attempt to add musical to his repertoire and Björk's attempt to add acting to hers.  It was a success for both at Cannes in 2000.


Violence warning: not much by today's standard, unless you count the shock at the end 


Weepie Warning:?  depends on how crazy you are about Björk 



Well, I only get to watch it as a re-screening of von Trier movies in Copenhagen's Cinemateket. Almost every Dane I knew had already watched it.  Most warned about how touching and heart-breaking it was (coming mostly from females) and how they bet I will cry (coming from males).  While I liked how the ending was 'imperfect' in the eyes of most people (btw keep your eye peeled for the shock factor) - my eyes stayed dry.   Come on, must all movie endings be uplifting?  Perhaps an inspiring or thought-provoking ending will be better.


In fact I do suspect that dark humor was deliberately scattered in the movie, like in the scene with Selma trying to get back her money from Bill.  I will just mention that I couldn't resist chuckling slightly during that scene.  Don't forget, most people think like Selma 

- 'In a musical, nothing dreadful ever happens' - OH REALLY?

Casting of Catherine Deneuve seemed to be just to lend star power.  Despite her good acting, I just find her way too elegant for a migrant factory worker.  While the casting of Björk as 'the dancer in the dark' was brilliant, and her acting befit this movie, I am after all not a fan of Björk and will never be.  I really don't care about her Best Actress Awards at Cannes and other Film Festivals,  nor the Oscar nomination for best song  "I've Seen It All", nor her famous/notorious swan dress.  Her out-of-breath shrills in some scene can get quite irritating and patience-testing at times, here's a small sampling of what I mean: 

Lars Von Trier likes to do trilogies and this musical (2000) - together with 'Breaking the Waves' (1996) and 'The Idiots' (1998) form the 'Golden Heart Trilogy', about naive heroines who maintain their 'golden hearts' despite the tragedies they experience.  I think it's just typical Von Trier's idea of making it as grueling as possible to test his lead actresses limits, as can be seen in movies outside the 'Golden Heart Trilogy', like 'Dogville', 'Mandalay', 'Antichrist'.


Much as I wanted to complete this trilogy, there was no re-screening of 'The Idiots'.  I was also told by the locals that it is even more 'experimental' than the experimental musical 'Dancer in the Dark'; and even though the movie is in their mother tongue Danish, hardly any Dane recommended it.


But I will most definitely recommend 'Breaking the Waves'.
And I completed my own 'Von Trier in Copenhagen Trilogy' with 'Antichrist'

Breaking The Waves

YK’s 2-Cents:    

Violence warning: 

Sexuality, Nudity warning: Yes, oh, YES

Weepie warning: 

Let's first fast forward to what happened to me at the end of the movie.  When I left the cinema, I had to stagger across the road on wimpy knees to Kongens Have (The King's Garden), and quickly sat on the grass by the lavender bushes (Thanks to the king's gardeners for the lovely lavenders in the summer of 2009!), trying to recover from the exhaustion of crying too much.  

I simply couldn't understand the effect this film had on me, so I text-messaged a male friend who had watched it back in late 90s - if he remembered crying at all.  He replied that he did felt tears on his face.  This movie will not even rank in my top 10 favorites, but like him, I will never forget the tears I shed.

'God give everyone something they can be good at. 

I've always been stupid, but I'm good at this ... ... I can believe.'

Yes, I must stress it's the female protagonist's infinite capacity at believing and trusting, in God, that is.  At the onslaught of hard hitting waves, is there still something within your control to break the waves?

This is the first movie in Lars Von Trier's 'Golden Heart Trilogy', about naive heroines who maintain their 'golden hearts' despite the tragedies they experience.  

This story is too complex for a synopsis.  But I'll try anyway.  

Emily Watson plays the ultimate naive Bess McNeil, who lives in a Scottish coastal town ruled by the religious doctrine of its council of elders.  She marries the out-of-towner oil-rig worker Jan (played by Swedish actor Stellan Skarsgård) who can't wait to give her a lot of crash courses in sex.  When Jan has to leave for work on the oil rig, she prayed to God to bring him back immediately.  Sure enough, God answered her prayer!  Jan was soon home - but paralyzed from the neck down after a freak oil-rig accident.  Just as she has read God's will for her choice of husband, she believed it was her fault that God answered her prayer.

Here's where it gets a bit like 'The Gift of the Magi’ - the best of intentions, the worst of sacrifices - just a lot more brutal.  Unable to fulfill his new wife sexually, Jan told Bess to have sex with other men.  To ensure that his wife gets back to a 'normal' sex life, she has to recount the sexual experience to him.  This gives Bess an idea of what she can use to convince her most trusted God for a miracle for Jan to recover – something she’s good at, so she believes.  

I love the way the camera's angle was taken such that the audience shares God's view: 

• Admiring his own creations

Note how every chapter-breaks resembled Christian scenery portraits, accompanied by 70s music.  It's a good break from today's CGI effects.  

• Looking down from above, judging

God's last judgment can be seen in one of the most inspiring endings – the part where I burst into uncontrollable tears.  It was a complex feeling of hope from the closure after all the brutal bleakness, all because a simple girl simply believes.  

I stayed in my seat to cry my heart out over the ending.  When I had to leave the cinema, I continued crying in the toilet.  It was a good crying session because at that point in my life, I was working in a place with no God, and as punishment for my attempts to break the waves, the organization's management see to it that I receive no closure.  Unlike Bess, I wasn't very good at believing or make-believing.  Alas, the real life is very different from the one where Lars Von Trier plays God.

In my opinion, Emily Watson remains Lars Von Trier's best find in a female lead - and not that the rest his female leads are shabby.  But I can hardly think of a more memorable performance from another actress than Watson as Bess.  

If you don't mind some violence and nudity, and you are not the most die-hard atheist, and you haven't had a good cry for a long while, and you still want to feel hope at the end of all the crying, then definitely watch his movie.  

Btw, my all time most heart wrenching tear jerking movie is still 'Hachikô monogatar'